Sunday, February 19, 2012

“There Were No Jews On The Food Committee”

One of Kevin's work friends was having a surprise 50th birthday party for his wife.  I didn’t know them very well (sort of not at all) but we’d been invited to a few of their get-togethers over the years and hadn’t made any of them.   I was overseas traveling when Kevin told me about the invitation and asked if I wanted to go.  Being the hard core, stayupallnight party animal that I am (not),  I said, “sure, sounds fun.”  We like parties, we’re pretty likeable ourselves and it’s always fun to meet new people.
Aside: Kevin told me over dinner recently that he thought we should be going out more, you know, diversifying our “friend portfolio”.  We have tons (like I said, we’re pretty likeable) but tend to spend most of our time with Jan and Jay, our besties.  Lately they’ve been talking about moving and Kevin thinks we’re going to become the Lonely Levy Cat People if we’re not careful.  Thus my quick “let’s go to the surprise party for people I don’t know” response.

Anyway.  Kevin tells me the party is in a couple of weeks and he rsvp’s that we’ll be there.  What Kevin doesn’t tell me is the party is a ‘Cruising to 50’ theme and we are to don “cruise wear” and all guests are to bring an appetizer.  Oh and don’t park at the house (obviously- note “surprise” in the party title) but drop your appetizer off and park your car in the nearby park. 

The evite came with instructions, too!  From 6-7 the cruise departs and we will talk about the birthday girl.  From 7-8 the appetizers YOU bring will be available for consumption on the Promenade Deck.  We sprung for a cake that you need to eat before 10pm when the cruise ends.  

Hang on, hang on- we need to dissect this. 

First- define cruise wear.  Is this the redneck jumpsuit thingy embellished with gold I’ve seen on The Love Boat?  Is it a skimpy bathing suit?  Do I have to see my husband in a very unsexy, Thirston Howell III Captain’s hat?  We discussed this at length as I have never been, nor have any desire to go, on a cruise.  We opted not to dress as Lovey and Thurston and chose a Hawaiian shirt for Kevin and jeans with boat shoes for me.

Second- who invites you to a party and demands you show up with an appetizer to feed the other guests they invited?  Clearly not a Jewish event.  If it’s a pot luck, call it pot luck in the invite and be done with it. 

I’d go a step further here and recommend they include the following disclaimer on their evite:  

“No Jews were involved in the planning of this event. We take no responsibility for guests who dislike the food and/or entertainment.  Boredom is a strong possibility. Any reference to “Scrapebook” in the invitation is really a reference to the scrapbook to which you are supposed contribute as part of the free gift we opted for the celebrant vs. a real present.  There is a strong possibility you will leave this event hungry, disappointed and tired.

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Monday, February 13, 2012

Riddle Me This!

I just returned from an overseas business trip where, over dinner, I shared with my colleagues that when I returned from work, I tossed a bottle of water I opened that morning and left in my hotel room.  Why?  Well, hadn't they seen all the documentaries about the cleaning staff using the toilet brush on the water glasses?  Apparently not.  

Needless to say, it sparked an animated debate over 1) my sanity, 2) what the housekeeping hotel staff REALLY does when they "clean" your room and 3) the general goodness of mankind.

In an effort to establish my case (and vindicate those of us who do, in fact, believe people are innately good but maintain a healthy level of skepticism) I request you complete the quick poll on the right sidebar of the blog.

10 seconds, literally, is all it takes.

Thanks- I'd say your responses will be kept confidential but.... they won't.  This is Google after all ;-)